her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
COCAINE IS GR8
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