I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
