if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i was born a porn star she said
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
