Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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