But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
