But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize