i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
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