Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize