look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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