Your face is a jimmy john
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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