I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize