She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
