why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
