you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
