Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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