and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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