i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
