If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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