So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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