Where did you get a picture of my penis
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
dude. I can hear the air.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
