Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
