I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
