i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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