I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The air was thick with penises
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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