so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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