WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
