I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
