Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
