marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
