if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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