was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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