We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
