I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
