are you so shy because you have an std?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
