These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
