yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
