and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
