Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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