the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
