In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
