Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
