Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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