His pubic hair was longer than his dick
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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