All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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