I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize