There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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