ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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