I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
