A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
