Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
