Small penises have feelings too.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
