Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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