I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
