There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
