Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
