How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
