i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
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