I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
