Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
being pregnant is like rehab
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
