finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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