and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
