i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
